Title: the Thief

Gender: Male

Location: Harrisville, NH

Something that happened to me on the night of my High School Prom:

Surrounded by Inter-Galatic Death Ferrets, things did not look good for our hero.  His gamma gun was all out of juice and the torn shirt, so dashing and refreshingly erotic just two hours before, was beginning to look a bit last-season.

“That's it Space Ferrets!  Put your hands up, game's over.”

“He he heee,” Cackled the biggest and most relaibly pungent of the circle of bobbing heads and slathering lips, “You're in no position to play mind games, Hadrric, Earth man.  I think the time has come for you to tell us the secret.”

“Space Ferrets, you're surounded.  The space police were tipped off when you destroyed the parking droid.  They're securing the perimeter, as we speak.  I suggest you lay down your weapons and assume the position.  It'll be easier on you in the long run.”

“Not so fast, Earth Scum.  There is no space police anymore: they were voted out of existence last night when the Universal Soul was turned on to Ice-T following a private screening of Colors at Tom Cruise's house.  You see, omnivore, your little dream of Post-modern liberal pseudo-autonomy is over.”

Haddric felt a trickle of underarm perspiration cooly streak the inside of his upper arm, and hang like a distilled bead of confused panic from the musclar bulge at top of his ulnar.

Must…stay with… breath… must… witness… must be aware of the full… manifestation of… the now, he thought with clenched jaw.

Suddenly, realizing that he was trying, Hadrric surrendered to the present moment, and like a knife through hot butter dropped into the eternal nothingness that is not empty.

“Phew, that's better!” he exclaimed without judgment, swiping the transcendent sweat from his no longer temporal brow.

“I am the Ferret, the Ferret is me: there is no Ferret, no me, there is only the inexpressable.”

Rising up through the no-space into the realm of causation again, Hadrric was able to floss, which had been on his mind since lunch.  Now aware of the Temporal from within the Temporal, Hadrric looked to the biggest ferret (the one he'd been addressing since he had realized his gamma gun was out of juice).  The Acceptance radiated from his countenance in such a way that the Space Ferret forgot to keep restating the narrative in his own mind for a moment.  In those seconds the Space Ferret saw Hadrric, like, I mean, you know, really saw Hadrric, as if for the first time; as if he was seeing a man for the first time, without, of course, knowing that this thing was even called a man, if you know what I mean.

“Hi,” said the biggest Space Ferret, a bit woozily.

“Hi,” said Hadrric, himself a little taken off-guard, and for a nano second or two finding himself thinking something about Space Ferrets tending to want to know if new things they encounter are edible before anything else and was this going to influence what came next, before realizing that he was back in abstraction and not attending to the present moment again.

“I'd like to eat you,” said the Space Ferret.

“Of course you would, you're a Space Ferret,” said Hadrric, un-egoically, and with a completely un-mushy loving-kindness.  This did not confuse the Space Ferret, but seemed to allow him to return to the not-knowing experience of what was going on immediatly before.

“Hmm…” said the Space Ferret, as if sensing his being called back to auto-ferrethood, but pausing in the stillness of what was happening.  The other Space Ferrets had been watching this, and by now had been caught up in the experience themselves, their hyper-vigilant twitching searchingness having settled into a softer gaze.

Hadrric looked down at his torn shirt and navy riding breeches, and sighed.

This time it was the biggest Space Ferret who spoke first.  It seems he knew what Hadrric's sigh had been about,

“Of course your obsessing over yourself, that's what you do, especially when you've internalized the normalizing controls of a Post-modern liberal pseudo-autonomous individualistic paradigm.”  The Space Ferret scratched his ear pensively, “Humans will be humans.”

“Yes, and Space Ferrets will be Space Ferrets,” agreed Hadrric.

The apparent impasse of this collision was sensed, without anyone having to move past it.  They were simply there, feeling the reality of the different realities…. 
 



 

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